From My World to Yours

A new beginning can mean many things. Starting a diet. Curbing an addiction. Practicing a new hobby. For me, it started a week ago, on Tuesday, February 18th, 2025, when I walked into my first session of therapy.

It had been two years since I last saw a professional. Since then, I have dealt with anxiety stemming from childhood trauma and intrusive thoughts. Truthfully, I’ve dealt with these issues in the past, however, I decided to meet with a Polynesian therapist for a change. My therapist is part-Tongan and covers multiple areas I’m seeking help for. I figure it be refreshing to receive guidance from someone who shares a similar cultural background. Someone to not only understand me as a patient, but as a Pacific Islander.

In Polynesian cultures, mental illnesses are misinterpreted and often looked down on. Part of this is due to the lack of education and awareness on such issues. As you know, I am autistic which did cause various social and intellectual challenges for me in my childhood and adolescence (I’ll expand on that in future updates). I did receive counseling throughout elementary and middle school, however, autism was never brought up nor discussed.

Growing up, I didn’t always fit in with my own people nor with a lot of my peers. The hardest part was I didn’t know what autism was, let alone I had it. My mother didn’t disclose my whole diagnosis — Asperger’s and PDD, pervasive developmental disorder — until I was 18. She didn’t want me to worry that I was different, but to learn and grow with life’s challenges without blaming others or feeling sorry for myself. In recent years, I have learned so much about ASD and how it has impacted my life. It does bring me clarity and an increased sense of self. However, I do feel a bit sorrowful for spending years thinking there was something wrong with me.

Upon sharing this with my therapist, she told me it can challenging to process so many years of unresolved trauma I couldn’t fully navigate. At the moment, I knew I’d be unpacking and reevaluating my past life to not only heal myself, but the younger version of me.

Despite the cultural stigma, I never saw therapy as a weakness but salvation for my mental state. For me, this was a watershed moment realizing I can heal the broken parts of my psyche.